©2017 by Leap & Twirl

Why I Left My Dream

May 27, 2017

 

I'm currently on a honeymoon with my life after leaving behind a dream that tugged on my soul for years. It was not a decision I made lightly, but a decision made that has lightened my life in the most beautiful way. 

 


Tuning in to inner wisdom is an important tool in mapping out one's best life. However, it's not always so discernible. Sometimes when I feel the nudges that something isn't right for me, I find it hard to decipher, is it my soul, my gut, my instincts trying to tell me something or is it just an uncomfortable growth phase that I need to get through. Does anyone else struggle with this? 

 

There are three important factors that provided guidance and then alignment in helping me tune in to my soul and determine that the small business I started was not necessarily my path.

 

  • Values

  • Priorities

  • Boundaries

 

VALUES

 

One thing I soon discovered, was that the pace of having a full-time job, a family, and building a business was not aligned with my value set. 

 

Simplify

Reduce overwhelm

Prioritize self care

Focus on being rather than doing

Live juicy

Honor yourself

Live intentionally

 

 

There was no being. Only doing. Having my days filled with appointments and tasks actually stifled me and made me shrink. There was too much to do and not enough space to be. There was no time for creative inspiration and flow. In trying to help others honor themselves and live an intentional life, I wasn't honoring my own values. 

 

 

PRIORITIES

 

More importantly, I was missing my life. I was spread too thin and that surely doesn't align with my motto of living juicy. For me, a juicy life lies within the sweet spot of free space, where I have time to cuddle and laugh with the loves of my life. Quality time with my family. My friends. Laying with my dog, our faces in the sun. Space for my creative side to bloom. Writing my thoughts down into an army of notebooks. Really feeling my pen crossing the page with swirls and twirls. Creative expression. Simplicity.

 

 

BOUNDARIES

 

I ignored my gut for a while during the birthing phase of my dream because let's face it, building a business is just plain difficult. As is always the case, if you ignore those nudges, the universe will speak louder and become more direct. Soon, "difficult" turned into "more difficult than needs to be". I was willing to embrace the challenges of "difficult", but "more difficult than needs to be" was not worth the sacrifice of my priorities and values. This was my boundary. Once the boundary was crossed, clarity swooped down and struck me right in the guts. At this point, I was able to connect with my inner wisdom and the decision to leave was crystal clear. 

 

This is my boundaries poem.

 

 "Bend. Bend. Bend. Bend. Push. Snap. No"

The end.

 

This is a visual representation of my boundaries:

 

As you can see, I'm very serious about boundaries. 

 

 

LIBERATION

 

I had a dream. It haunted me for years. It never stopped nagging me. It told me that an inspiration studio was my life's mission and what if I never did it... what then?

 

I am clearly happy to say I did it. I made it happen. Created it. Built it. and now...

 

That dream is done. I'm complete with it. Hallelujah!

 

I don't regret one single minute. It was beautiful and I learned so much. Growth happened for me. I had to step outside my comfort zone and it was scary and so very fulfilling at the same time. I mean.... I was interviewed on the news and I survived. :)

 

The women's center will continue to move forward. We built a team of incredible women to help it grow in new and beautiful ways. These incredible women I met along the way I get to enjoy as friends. Instead of preparing workshops for them, I now get to savor them.  

 

I have time for my priorities now. I can play tennis and get back to yoga and photo walks. I can leave for a spontaneous getaway to the beach. Sit in the sunshine. Read books. 

 

I have precious time to focus on my family - being a mom and being there for my kids. Slowly and steadily. Not rushed. Just present. Being rather than doing.

 

I can be me.. completely and fully alive in the way that is important to me.

 

The richness of life on my own terms.

Nothing has changed except the letting go of one version of my dream. I am still connected to my true work, which is inspiration and liberation. It's just that you'll find me doing it in a way that more closely reflects the values of my life, at my own pace and on my own terms. In tune with my emotional, spiritual, physical & energetic rhythms. I will honor myself first, and in turn lead by example, quietly and confidently.  

 

So I'm back to leaping and twirling. It's what suits me best. In a sundress and cowgirl boots. Free agent. Lone wolf. Creative spirit. Flying free in the life of me.

 


*I challenge you to create your own boundaries illustration. Writing a boundaries poem first helps. :) Post them below or send them to me!

 

*Also, keep up with my swizzle. Subscribe to my blog here.




 

 



 

 

 

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