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  • Writer's pictureAndrea Clegg Corp

Well-Behaved Women

I am absolutely ravenous in my quest for meaning and purpose and path. I know where my directions is. I want to motivate women and inspire them to live the life of their dreams. I want to encourage others to follow their OWN path - "tradition be damned". I want to show women that there's more to life than what they're settling for.

This idea came to me quite a few years back after becoming a mom and wife. It was everything I ever wanted, yet I was left so completely unfulfilled. I was trying to fit into this expectation, this role. I felt lifeless, boring, and for the first time in my entire life I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. I started dressing more conservatively to blend in and not stand out against the other moms picking up their children from preschool.

I would write in my journal constantly about the inner workings of my mind and how I ached for more. Luckily, I kept writing and reading and then Sex & The City came to the scene and it snapped me out of my lifeless lull. Those women on Sex & The City were ME. That was who I was - eclectic, stylish, ambitious, smart, sex kitten, naive... a little bit of everything.... and God - the clothes! They gave me the inspiration to express MYself again. I had always been stylish in the past (pre-mom life). That was a big part of who I was. So finally, with my inspiration from my new favorite show, I connected with my true self and decided to be authentic again no matter what role I was supposed to be playing.

I got out of the mom uniform - overalls and a ponytail- and started wearing high heels and looking forward to my makeup and funky outfits or whatever expressed who I felt like that particular day when I woke up. I bought clothes that were me - creative, polished, sexy, vibrant, fun! No longer did I care about standing out in the pre-school configuration of moms. I embraced it! I embraced MYself and who I really was on the inside. It sounds so simple and silly, but that was the beginning of my transformation back into myself. I could be a mom, a wife, and still be ME - colorful, dazzling, glorious ME!!!!

Ever since this "awakening", I have looked around at many other women around me. Unfortunately, I see a sad state of self-sacrifice and settling in the name of ????? - a role they're playing?? societal expectations?? feelings of unworthiness?  The spark is gone.  They seem hopeless. Some are so stuck in a secondary role. They are living as guests in their husband's lives.They have put all their hopes and desires on the back burner and may have even forgotten them entirely. I want to shake them and say - "Is this life you're living what you would want for your daughters?" If the true answer is no - ladies - why are you settling for less than what you'd want for your own daughters? Aren't you worth as much?

As far as we know, we have only one life to live. Do you want to be a guest in someone else's life - THEIR hopes and dreams and goals - or do you want to be the star of YOUR story?

It is possible to be the star of your own story AND in a loving, nurturing, giving relationship. Any man worth having respects a woman so much more when she is living HER dreams. A woman who is strong, successful, having fun along the way.

As one of my favorite sayings goes,

"A well-behaved woman rarely makes history."

Is your life everything you hoped for?  Remember when you were a young girl laying on the grass, watching the clouds go by and dreaming of your future.  Don't settle.  Look within and find yourself again.  Embrace who you WISH to be! Live juicy! Be the star of your own story.

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