It’s kind of like when you haven’t talked to one of your best friends in a very long time. Each time you reach for the phone to call her, you hesitate and abort the call, because there is just too much to catch up on. You don’t have time for a phone call that would take enough time to summarize all that’s been happening in your world through the months. The call becomes overwhelming. There is too much of everything to say. You leave it for another day. Each day you do think of her, but the pressure to call breeds procrastination which fuels the guilt which results the lack of appropriate action – just making the damn call.
This is how I’ve felt for a long time now about writing in my blog. I think of it every day. I think of the million things I want to say, how I want to express myself, all the topics that are building up in my brain to discuss, and there’s been a lot of good stuff up there. So much has happened in my life, my world that I am not sure where to start. So I don’t begin at all.
You know what else? Not only am I held back by the jumbled mess of ideas in my brain , but I have a fear that my writing won’t be as good as it once was because I don’t have enough time to sit with my ideas and let them flow. It’s just been so long. My life circumstances have changed. Also this.. The truth is that if I can’t be great at something, I’d rather not do it at all. Mediocrity is too much to bear. So the cliche of a perfectionist in me has been holding me back.
Anyways, this post right here… right now… is me making the damn phone call. Taking the appropriate action to get here and just write….. because the longer I don’t post, the more I suffer with the need to post, but the harder it seems to be to initiate….. The appropriate action when you have a blog is to create a post. (am I right?).. and there I did it! You know what this means don’t you? Now that I’ve made that initial call (post), I can call again tomorrow or the next day and the day after that because the pressure is gone and now I can just check in for a few minutes to say something funny or even insignificant, or “hi.. i’m on my way to work, what’s up”. I’m opening up to the flow….and I have oh so much to catch you up on!
ASSIGNMENT: Pick up the phone and call a friend that you adore but haven’t talked to in a long time. Catch up. Begin. Open the flow.