I am my own provider of love and comfort. I’m proud to admit that I treat myself well. Not with luxurious or superficial things… but with simple pleasures. I nurture myself with tenderness. Tiny gestures. Magical moments. I am in love with life. I Let myself be taken away with emotion. Finding the joy in moments. Finding the lessons in heartache. Noticing the gifts in each situation. I throw myself into the beauty of it all. It is all sensory. Touch. Sound. Taste. Sight. Smell. Imagination. Intuition. Using every part of me, I love and light myself up.
How do I love me? Let me count the ways.
Alone Time. This is essential to me. It is necessary in order to rejuvenate my spirit. You’ve got to leave room in your life for digging deep, freeing the mind, allowing feelings, neutralizing energy, thinking, processing, releasing, and encouraging flow.
Early Morning Hours. The best gift I ever gave myself was the early hours in the morning. I wake up early, long before my kids and husband to bask in quiet and absorb the break of day . I engage in meditation or writing and setting intentions….. each morning asking myself. “Who Am I? and “What do I want from my day?”
Writing. I journal each day. It is a way to connect with the truest part of me. The part that needs to be heard, and expressed, and figured out. The flow of my cursive handwriting streaming the tide of my thoughts and ideas. Pen and paper. Basic instruments that we take for granted, but for me; what a dream come true! Writing is counseling of the highest order, and it’s free.
Meditation. Each morning for 20 minutes. Comfortable position. Eyes closed. Trying my best to think about nothing, letting everything fall away. Reaching within to find my purple cloud -the “seat of my soul”. Meditation activates my internal light so that I can move forward in my day and shine.
A Hot beverage. I BELIEVE in hot beverages. A cup of coffee in the morning to start your day. A hot chocolate treat with a friend, and a cup of tea anytime in between. “Let’s have a nice cup of tea” my Grandma Kit used to say. “It will make everything better.” Hot liquid comfort in a mug.
A Beautiful Glass of Water…. on ice. with lemon oil. It feels like I am treating myself to a big dose of radiance and sunshine in a glass.
Books. This is an all-out love affair. Self-Help/Psychology, Biographies, and Fiction. All help me learn something about life…. taking what I need to grow and evolve into the person I want to be. Self examination, self awareness, new ideas, and others’ life experiences that will help me on my own path. I find the greatest pleasure in reading books. They heal me. Feed me. Save me. They raise me up and cradle me in a cocoon of possibility.
Create. Often. Something. Anything. In creating, I free myself from the restlessness within. I’m telling you… Mod Podge (like tea) can make everything better. We are the creators of our lives. Whether that means creating a meal, a home, a fabulous dinner, an amazing outfit, a piece of art, a poem, a sculpture, a book, a friendship, a love story, a career. Creation is the gift of the divine feminine.
Write Some Porn. I am a sexual being and I revel in it, honoring my raw divine feminine instincts. Part of self love is finding the truest and deepest part of yourself. Get in touch with your wild side, and explore your greatest and most secret fantasies. I once wrote a whole pornographic story based on my Facebook status updates.
The Power of Pajamas. They must be ultimately comfortable, soft, feminine, sweet, and sexy. I need to turn myself on. I need to feel lovely and sexual…sensual… I want white cotton… delicate…. a touch of sheer…or jersey knit with a whisper of ruffle. Something to lightly caress and hug my body. Alternatively, warm and fuzzy will do; wrapping myself in loving affection.
The Fabulous Gift of Fresh Sheets. Clean sheet day is a cozy delight celebration. Crisp, clean, and 100% pet hair free. Then I hightail it to heavenly by spraying my sheets with a beautiful scent. I have used the same kind for years. It’s a pillow mist with lavender essential oil to soothe and calm and help you sleep better. A true authentic aromatherapy experience.
Candles. I light candles for peace and serenity. .. a flame burning…. light glowing…. soft….symbols of who I want to be.
A damn good fire in the fireplace. A fire warms me up from the outside in. I allow myself to get lost staring deep into a fire and imagine I am igniting all the passion that lives within me.
Music. I bathe myself in song. I like to listen to sad music or music I can feel deeply, which connects me with inner feelings and often releases whatever may be blocking my flow. I am a total love song junkie. I find music with meaning and let it motivate and inspire me. Meditation Music to relax my mind, body, and spirit. I have a Pandora station set to a theme of new age tranquility. (Snatam Kaur, which is something I heard in yoga class). This gives me the ultimate experience of inner peace. I feel as though I am infusing my soul with ancient wisdom.
Theme Song. I recommend this. Pick a song that helps you define who you really are or who you aspire to be. An anthem of you. Play it loud and proud to remind yourself that you are the star of your story!
Soul Songs. I have two songs that I have personified as though they are my soul or my spirit. Mystical messages from my true self. “Magic” by Olivia Newton John (“You have to believe we are magic. Nothing can stand in our way.”) and “Chiquitita” by Abba (“I’m a shoulder you can cry on. Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on.”) Find a special song that allows you to connect with your conscience.
Dance. Move your body. Dance it all out… your silly, your sassy, your sexy. Dancing instantly makes you happy and allows the physical expression of your authenticity to flow through you. Shake it mama!
Symbolic treasures. I have created my home in such a way to provoke happiness in every room. I intentionally stock reminders that I am loved… that there is meaning in my life. They are messages to inspire the very best of me, to bring alive the essence of who I wish to be.
Greeting Cards and Handmade Art. My friends are delightful. They make things and send cards and I find so much comfort in their love language. These keepsakes. I display them or frame them and smile for days.
Plastic Green Army Man. A token of love from a dear friend who has shared in my pain. This guy stands on guard in my kitchen protecting me from another attack of what has once caused me heartache.
Energy Bells. Beautiful hippie ones hanging above the sink in my kitchen to serve as a reminder that I am responsible for my own energy. Whenever I find myself in a cloud of negativity, I ring the bells with the intention of shifting my energy.
A Message Chalkboard where I write affirmations, or quotes, or messages of love, or goofy and sassy words to remind me to love and laugh and not to take life too seriously. I write things like “Namaste” and “You can trust your true self to lead you”, and “We can all figure it the fuck out together.” or “You are a Hottie Pants – yes you!” Loving yourself is letting all sides of you free to fly your flag.
A Magic Wand. I have a beautiful magic wand hanging up next to my bed to remind myself that I have a magical solution to any difficult problem. The power is within me..and I believe that with all of my heart.
A Happiness or Gratitude Jar. Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert, I have a jar to document all the goodness in my life. I write down the little things that make me happy each day, fold them up, and then add them to the jar. They also serve as little lovenotes to the universe …expressing gratitude…. showing the universe that I take notice of the abundance in my life. When I’m stuck in a cloud of negativity, I open up the jar and read a few notes to remind myself of all the happiness contained in my beautiful life.
Angry Bitch Vision Board. Sometimes my inner bitch needs pampering too. It doesn’t respond to all of my healthy and positive tools. For the days when anger is eating me up… and the delightful smiley positive me can’t find my happy shiny place, I allow my anger to fly free in a healthy way. I head on over to my Pinterest account and do a search for “fuck you” and pin away. Lalalaaaaaa. It truly is like therapy. I feel better and no one gets hurt.
I promise you will never feel alone if you are your favorite person to be with. Take the time to get to know yourself. Recognize what lights you up and aim to experience more of it. Create your own rituals. Nourish your spirit with simple pleasures and savor each moment. Saturate your life with love wholeheartedly and you will bring the magic everywhere you go.
*Published in Bella Grace Magazine Issue 7.